When a child goes missing, even for just a few minutes, it can seem like an eternity. Your heart starts racing, brain turns onto overdrive, body turns on autopilot as you start searching and shouting for a child and trying to keep fear-filled images out of your head.
Up until recently, Nora has been very good when it came to listening when outside. She would walk next to me, hold my hand, stay on the sidewalk. She was a rules follower. A few weeks ago, we were at One Stop Fun and she ran away from me and nearly got hit by a car. Luckily, the driver was someone we knew and was aware that we were exiting the facility. Regardless, we had a long discussion about listening to parents and following directions and she was not allowed to walk in parking lots or anywhere off our driveway without holding a hand for quite a while.
Fast forward a few weeks and she's earned the trust back. She's doing very well. Then, she learns to pump on a swing. She's become bolder and more adventurous. On Tuesday, she did not follow directions and walked out into a parking lot without permission. She repeats it again later on Tuesday, so on Wednesday, she's not given the freedoms. Thursday starts off very well. She's following directions, being helpful and seems pretty happy. Then, we go outside after Beth's nap to play in the front yard. We go out, get helmets on and begin to ride. From our driveway, across the front yard to our neighbors driveway. She knows those are the limits. Beth knows those are the limits. Nora asked to go for a longer walk, and I told her we could go, but she needed to wait until I locked the front door. In the time it took me to grab my keys (just inside the front door) and lock up, she disappeared. I called her name a number of times...nothing. I looked around for her or her bike, nothing. She was in the driveway when I started locking up, and I had no idea which way she went - panic started to set in. I grabbed Beth and started heading down the street, worried she had gone out on the busy road near us or had fallen off her bike. I finally found her coming back from biking down the street and back by herself. My heart started beating again. The panic started to fade but was replaced by a feeling of anger (which would later be followed by very much mommy guilt). I had to battle Nora back into the house (our rule has always been that if you go in the street or past the neighbors driveway, we go in the house - I felt really bad for Beth who was really enjoying being outside!).
Lucky for me, Beth plays very very well by herself. She got pretty much ignored for the rest of the evening as Nora boldly declared that she rode her bike by herself because she is a big girl and wanted to go for a longer bike ride. She understood that she should not have gone that far, but did it anyway because she wanted too and didn't want to wait for mom to get the door locked. Nora ended up spending much of the evening in her bedroom, coming out only for dinner and using the bathroom. Andy and I thought about various punishments for this. I considered duct taping her legs together so she could only shuffle around. I considered duct taping her to her bed. I considered putting her on the next plane to Timbuktu. In more legitimate punishments, we have taken her bike helmet away - which means no bike or trike - until Monday.
Part of me feels incredibly guilty for turning by back on a three year old. It was really just for a second, and it could have just as easily been to get Beth's helmet buckled instead of getting keys and locking the door. Part of me wishes we didn't have to lock up to walk down the street, but we have some neighbors who will just walk into your house, so if you are going beyond one house down, the door needs to be locked.
It looks like it's time to start talking to Nora about some of the reasons we need to stay near mama. Time to read more "Be Patient Little Chick" which is a story about a chick who takes off from mama and runs into a rather mean rooster who wants to teach him a lesson. Mama Hen arrives just in time to save Little Chick. I don't know what I would have done if Nora had gone into the street or if she had fallen off her bike - she's just gaining confidence but still doesn't have the balance down yet, and is pretty clumsy by nature.